CIAO, SONO RED ROLL….

Posted by redroll Category: Category 1

CIAO SONO RED ROLL

-“Scusa hai da accendere?”-
-“Non fumo, ma con una lingua così mi ispiri…. Eh…”-
 -“Mi chiamo Red Roll”-
-“Red Roll… sei un tappeto Rosso?-

Facciamo due chiacchiere, ti parlo un po’ di me, sono Red Roll, un faccione con una lingua rossa.
Piacere di conoscerti, sono un viaggio, sono un sogno.. sono un’insieme di cose.
Sono nato nell’estate 2018, nelle menti disturbate di 4 ragazzi della provincia di Bologna. Prima di tutto mi hanno usato come nome della loro band rock… e assieme abbiamo iniziato a fare concerti. Abbiamo fatto situazioni belle, grandi… il nostro esordio sul palco è stato per l’apertura del concerto dei Nomadi… azz.. partire con un palco così davanti a 2000 persone è difficile… come il risveglio dopo una sbronza. Insomma ti rendi conto che: chissà quando avrò di nuovo un palco del genere…  bene ora inizia la gavetta di concerti davanti a 5 persone… che spesso ti chiedono: scusa ma despacito la conoscete?

Comunque, torniamo agli esordi…. Sono il nome di questa Band!

Figo, mi piace essere usato per questo…! Bene … dopo l’esordio iniziano tanti concerti, pub, feste di piazza, cene improvvisate… tutto fila, tranquillo, quando a questi 4 coglioni gli viene in mente: compriamo un pulmino per caricare tutti gli strumenti e via….!

Ero tranquillo, pensavo… sti 4 non hanno un soldo, non ce la faranno mai… si perché poi se lo comprano sai che sbatto? Insomma sono l’italiano medio io… figo essere il nome di una band ma non esageriamo… ci facciamo i nostri 3 o 4 concertini e tutti a casa …tranquilli senza fare troppa fatica. Sono… C. Bukowski direbbe: “Quello che mi importa è grattarmi sotto le ascelle”.

Quindi, soldi non ne hanno, a posto, sono tranquillo, la mia vita non si complicherà….

“Facciamo un Crowdfounding!!”

Ma che caz…. Eccolo…

Fatto, il mio nome è finito su un sito di crowdfounding, in mezzo tra una ricerca fondi per un condizionatore e …non ricordo ma… in 3 mesi sti qua riescono a raccogliere 6.000 euro e comprano il nostro mezzo…..

Ah si, lo hanno chiamato Ragnar… avete presente la serie di Neflix Vikings? Ecco quel Ragnar… cazzuto, mascolino, un uomo che non deve chiedere mai…. Ancora sto cercando un nesso… con loro 4… ma nulla!

Ah si giusto… non vi ho ancora prsentato i 4 geni di cui vi sto parlando:

Animale 1, passo: cantante della band, ogni tanto se si ricorda suona anche un po’ la chitarra.. ma solo nella prima parte del concerto… dopo le birre iniziano a fare effetto.

Animale 2, Leo: Il chitarrista serio della band, serio perché la suona per tutto il concerto… ah no… spesso se trova qualcuno tra il pubblico può essere che ceda lo strumento e lo ritrovi a banco a fare pubblic relations.

Animale 3, Cesi: lui è quello con lo strumento lungo, a cui di solito vengono chieste info su quella strana “chitarra” che suona… ma non si sente.

Animale 4, Jon: quello che fa rumore, quello a cui prima del concerto affiderei mio figlio, quello a cui al termine del concerto …. Insomma spera di non essere barista in quelle serate.

Bene, loro sono i 4, si fanno chiamare Red Roll, e hanno comprato un pulmino, un vecchio Renault.. siamo a posto?

NO.

Fanno musica Rock, inizialmente iniziano con cover, una scaletta di 10, 20, poi 30, 40… ora siamo a circa 70 pezzi…insomma 4 ore di di casino… ma devo ammettere che è un bel casino: Queen, Ac/Dc, Foo Fighters, Muse, Placebo, Billy Idol… ma anche una parte decisamente ballabile sul Rock and Roll!

Le serate aumentano, e la bolgia anche… i concerti finiscono sempre in … si mi piace la parola bolgia!

Tutto fila liscio, mi sto abituando al trambusto.. quando… eccalà.. una nuova “michiata” sta per fare la sua comparsa nella mente di sti 4: Facciamo una Birra!

E allora iniziano le chiamate:
“pronto siamo una band e vorremmo fare una birra a nostro nome”…  fino a che un giorno: “Pronto sono Enzo, del Birrificio il Gaggiolino, si dai fate un salto che ne parliamo”. Bam, la nuova idea aveva trovato terreno fertile su ci germogliare…. E io non ero felice… ma scusate eh… il mio faccione su una bottiglia in vetro? Chiusa giorni dentro a un frigo al freddo e con la prospettiva di essere ciucciata a destra e a manca! Il coronavirus era ancora una trama per film di fantascienza ai tempi..e tutto veniva ciucciato da tutti.

E Birra sia, una Bionda, in stile Kolsh….. prodotta dal Gaggiolino, un Birrificio di Gaggio Montano sull’appennino Bolognese… Si siamo in questa zona, presente quei Colli che girava in Vespa Cesare Cremonini nella canzone 50 Special? Oppure la terra del Blasco Vasco Rossi? Ecco la zona geografica è quella!

Ma torniamo a noi, a loro 4, a il Pulmino Ragnar, alla Birra Red Roll e al fatto che ora sono anche un marchio registrato. Ebbene si, mi hanno sbattuto su un contratto e detto che io sono di esclusiva proprietà di loro … cioè sono loro… che possono decidere dove come e quando usarmi.

Sono preoccupato.
Non vorrei che il prossimo step fosse quello di finire sulla scatola di un vibratore.

I concerti intanto continuano, belle serate, morigerate e sobrie; tra i complimenti più belli: psicopatico, folli, questo posto si ricorderà di voi ( vogliamo credere che sia per quanto abbiamo suonato bene ) ecc ecc..

I concerti si allargano, la nostra prima trasferta con il fedele Ragnar.. e via si va a Livigno! … e a Bormio!
A Bormio la situazione è da masturbazione, in un rifugio, il Ciuk, a metà della famosissima pista dello Stelvio durante la gara di Coppa del Mondo di sci (… a che tra l’altro ha vinto il nostro Dominik Paris ).

Una bella giornata…

Ma era tempo per una nuova “minchiata”, facciamo una T-Shirt! … e ma si, voi direte, tutte le band hanno una T-Shirt del gruppo. Vero, ma questi la volevano una T-shirt, non del gruppo, vogliono proprio fare una Linea di T-shirt… belle (a loro discutibile gusto )… così, una T-Shirt che indosseresti per il tuo primo appuntamento con la ragazza/o dei tuoi sogni… una T-shirt su cui investiresti per dare risalto alla tua persona in una serata importante!

Insomma… non vi tedio… in breve mi ritrovo serigrafato ad altezza pacco!

Comunque scusate ma ora devo andare, è dura essere l’oggetto dei pensieri di 4 menti… ci leggiamo alla prossima minc.. puntata!

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